cant-blog

hi, i'm john. this is my blog. i write about design, and other things too.

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About

Listing for a couch. Again, click above to see the Craigslist post:

Pharos and Caesars. Popes, princes and presidents. What do they all have in common? 

Couches. 

Yes, couches. The casual seating choice of royalty and the world’s elite. 

“I’ve heard of couches,” you’re saying. “I’ve seen pictures of them in the Robb Report. But there’s no way I could afford a couch…is there?” 

There is. 

I am currently selling a two year-old, brown leather couch. Produced by renowned furniture atelier Jennifer Convertibles, the couch is in excellent condition and ideal for sitting, reclining and/or cuddling. This masterfully crafted object can be yours for the unthinkably low price of $400. 

Respond to this post via email to learn more about this remarkable opportunity. 

Dreams can come true. You, too, can own a couch. 

Posted at 6:45pm and tagged with: moving,.

I’m moving soon, so I’m selling some stuff on Craigslist. Click above to see the listing. Description below:

I am selling two air conditioners, at $50 each. Both are powerful and quiet, like stealth jets. Each is clad in a creamy beige plastic that is sure to enhance any décor. 

Why wait? Respond to this post via email and start living the life you’ve always dreamed. The air-conditioned life.

The initial post was much longer, but I decided to truncate. Here’s the original:

Has this ever happened to you?

Man: So, would you like to come back to my place?
Woman: Sure. If you you’ve got air conditioning, that is.
Man: Well, um, I’ve got something close. Do you know what an oscillating fan is?
Woman: [Throws drink in face, punches man in nose; seen dancing with Mark Sanchez and Toni Kucoc later that night.]

How about this?

Operator: 911 operator, what’s your emergency?
Woman: Please, you’ve got to send an ambulance. My mother slipped on some string cheese and I think she broke her wrist.
Operator: What’s your address, ma’am?
Woman: 312 Bloomfield.
Operator: And do you have air conditioning?
Woman: What?
Operator: Is your home air-conditioned, ma’am?
Woman: We have a ceiling fan…
Operator: Tell your mother she can walk to the hospital. Just watch out for string cheese. [Hangs up.]

Well it never has to happen again. Not if you buy my air conditioners.

I am selling two air conditioners, at $50 each. Both are powerful and quiet, like stealth jets. And each is clad in a creamy beige plastic that is sure to complement any décor.

Why wait? Respond to this post via email and start living the life you’ve always dreamed. The air-conditioned life.

Posted at 6:41pm and tagged with: moving,.